Weekend Round Up

Weekend Round UP

Here are the links to this weeks articles in case you missed something:

Monday Moxie: The sixth article in Kellie's series: Taking your support group to the next level

Tuesday Tips: Some of our friends favorite children's books and great books you might not have heard about.

Wednesday Creative Nanny: Glenda reminds you of some Simple Car Games you might have forgotten.

Thursday Table Talk Christy Ochs shares her experience with learning about "Love and Logic"

Friday Financial Nanny: Alice shares tips on affordable organics.

We are coming up on our one year anniversary for Regarding Nannies. We will have lots of excitement the week of July 5th so stay tuned. Be sure to share with us your favorite articles and features from the past year or what you would like to see in the future. We LOVE to hear from you.
Next week we will feature the grown up books that our readers recommend, Kellie will share more themes with us on Creative Nanny Wednesday and on Financial Friday Alice will tell us about Swagbucks!

Thursday Table Talk: A brief overview of "Love and Logic" by Christy Ochs

Why I LOVE Love and Logic

Christy Ochs

Last weekend I attended a Love and Logic Seminar, presented by Jim and Charles Fey, and I left there feeling empowered, ready to take on anything that my 3 charges could throw at me.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Love and Logic was founded in 1977 by nationally known psychiatrist Foster Cline, M.D. and Charles Fey, a Teacher and parent himself.

It is a philosophy of raising and teaching kids which uses “humor, hope and empathy” to build on our relationships with the children we are helping to raise.

The reason that I, as a nanny choose Love and Logic over all of the many techniques I’ve learned over the years is because of two things.

Number One: It’s SO easy. Many of the other methods can get so complicated, that I am lost before I even begin. I don’t have time for charts, lists and journals and I have even less faith that they will provide the desired results. Love and Logic teaches words that work right off the tip of your tongue. It teaches parents and caregivers how to hold their kids accountable. In a very simple way it teaches the child to see the adult as the “good guy” and the child’s poor decision as the “bad guy”. It teaches what we, as nannies have always known: the more words we use, the quicker they zone us out. That’s why phrases like “My car leaves at 8:00. Will you be going to school with your clothes on your body, or your clothes in a bag?” always said with a smile, will be much more effective than “You need to get dressed NOW! We can’t be late again. I woke you up in plenty of time, and you  have been dawdling over breakfast and now, look at the time…etc…etc…” I’ve actually used the first one, bag in hand ready to put his clothes in, and he really did get this wide eyed look and said “I can’t go to school in my PJ’s!” to which I replied with great empathy “Oh, that’s true. It might be pretty embarrassing. I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.” He hasn’t gone to school in his pj’s yet, but I am perfectly willing to follow through should he make the wrong choice, and he knows it!

Number Two: It puts the responsibility back on the child, teaching him that we trust him to make the right choices. Each time we do for the child those things which he is capable of doing himself, or protect a child from the consequences of his choices, we are saying “I don’t think you are capable of handling this yourself.” We can turn our children’s mistakes into powerful learning opportunities. For example, give them a reasonable deadline to get their chores done: “Just have the bathroom cleaned up by tomorrow at 3:00.” Avoid lectures or reminders. If they don’t do the chore, do it yourself. This is an opportunity for learning. Then let empathy and consequence do the teaching. “This is such a bummer. I did your chores. Now I don’t have the energy to drive you to your friend’s house.” This is a technique called “The Energy Drain” and it’s very effective. While they are learning, there will almost always be an argument, but don’t participate. “I love you too much to argue.”

Empathy is hard to argue with. Kids respond to empathy. A toddler who is having a meltdown is quickly derailed with very few words: “So sad. Looks like a little bedroom time. You can come out when you can be sweet”. Love and Logic can begin when they are babies. The 10 month old who keeps tossing his bottle off the high chair: “Uh oh! Bottle gone.” And put it away. He will quickly learn that when he hears the words “Uh oh” (which is called the uh-oh song because you say it in a sing-song voice) the consequence will follow quickly. I’ve seen the hand stop in mid-air as I sang Uh oh.

Love and Logic teaches us that we should ‘lock in’ our empathy, love and understanding prior to telling kids what the consequences of their actions will be.

I feel that with any technique, including Love and Logic, we should take from it what we can use. Not every solution will work for every child, but it is so empowering to have the tools ready when I need them.

You can find out more about Love and Logic at www.loveandlogic.com . There are downloadable resources and webinars, FAQ’s and books and tapes you can order which will address almost any issue you may be facing. I also recommend that you attend a Love and Logic workshop if there is one in your area. Hopefully, you will feel like I do – secure in the knowledge that you have the tools and techniques to set real limits, in a loving way by teaching consequences and healthy decision making.

Thursday Table Talk: Christy O & Her Grandson Donavan

Donavan
By: Christy Ochs

In November, 2008 my healthy, active 10 year old grandson Donavan became ill with strep throat, and was later diagnosed with Epstein Barr Virus. He had a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes, and felt pretty sick. No one, including the doctors was very worried until Donavan’s condition rapidly began to deteriorate. Instead of getting better, his fever spiked and his lymph nodes grew to almost the size of baseballs. He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Fortunately there was a doctor on staff at the Children’s Hospital who specialized in immune disorders, and he quickly ordered tests which confirmed that Donavan was suffering from a rare immune disorder called Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis (or HLH).

HLH occurs mostly in infants and children, but occurs in only about 1.2 per million people. This is truly a devastating disease. We were told that had Donavan not been diagnosed when he was, he would have died. The disease had affected almost all of his internal organs. He had almost no immune system, he was basically an “open wound”.

The only effective treatment for HLH is a bone marrow transplant. Unfortunately Donavan would have to achieve some level of good health before they could perform a transplant and because of his compromised immune system, he was constantly sick. By Februray 2009 he was battling frequent pneumonia, countless infections and finally Cancer. He was on high doses of steroids, and intensive chemotherapy. He was in the hospital most of the time, and could not attend school or be around other children.

Finally, on January 1, 2010 Donavan had his bone marrow transplant. After many close calls, and terrible side effects, in mid March it was determined that he had grafted and he was released from the hospital.
Donavan will continue to be closely monitored, throughout his life. He still requires weekly infusions and platelets, and spends about 3 days a week in clinic. He will not be able to attend school for 2 more years, and will have to wear a mask when out in public for the next year. But he is well on the road to recovery, and we are so thankful.

Throughout Donavan’s worst days, I leaned on my strong network of Nanny friends for their encouragement support and prayers. Many of these Nannies I knew only from INA and other Nanny organizations, but on many days these loving and nurturing women helped carry me along. There is never a crisis that comes up that I don’t feel that I can call on this incredible support system to reassure me. I am truly blessed to be a part of such a loving community.

Christy Ochs is the INA's 2007 Nanny of the Year. She is the founder of the Denver Area Nanny Association.

Weekend Roundup

Regarding Nannies Weekend Round Up
This last week on Regarding Nannies we had
Monday Moxie :
Demystifying Taxes: What every employer needs to know!

Tuesday Tips:
Organizing from the Inside Out: Kristen Kanoski reviewed 3 different books for organizing your life.

Wednesday's Creative Nanny :
A Year in the Life:
Alice shared a great idea for keeping track of a child's growth over the course of a year.

Thursday Table Talk: Catching Up with Christy
Kellie caught up with Christy Ochs, INA NOTY 2007


Friday Finanical Nanny: Coupon your way to Disney
Alice shared a blog with us where the woman gave you tips on how to save money couponing

Next week on Regarding Nannies:
Glenda is going to share her interview with a group of nannies who went through formal nanny training programs and Alice is going to share some more great ideas about organizing your life in 2010.

Catching up with Christy .....

2007 Nanny of the Year™
Introducing Christy Ochs as 2007 INA Nanny of the Year™.

Read Christy's acceptance speech.


Christy Ochs is not your typical nanny. She is the mother of four who took an unusual path to becoming a nanny, a professional caregiver who is a genuine advocate for children, and she represents a positive role model for the in-home child care industry and the International Nanny Association (INA). On May 18, INA awarded Christy its highest honor, The 2007 Nanny of the Year™ (NOTY™) Award during its 22nd Annual Conference held in Alexandria, Virginia.

When Christy turned 42, she decided her child rearing days were not easily left behind—even though she had already reared four children, one with downs syndrome, and two step children. “I chose to be a nanny because the idea of doing for the parents what I would have loved to have had done for me as a young parent was very appealing. I loved the idea of not only providing a secure and loving environment for their children, but also taking some of the daily pressure off of their shoulders by doing their laundry, straightening up the house and helping the children with their school assignment.”

Christy is now working with her third family and cares for three-year-old Hawk who attended the conference with his mother. During the award ceremony, he presented flowers to Christy. “My boss, Jill, nominated me for the NOTY™. I was so honored and touched to have been nominated, especially by my employer. Lot’s of people go through their entire working lives without feeling appreciated. I can't tell you how much this nomination meant to me. Every time my little charges say "I love you Nana!" I feel like Nanny of the Year.”

What does it take to be INA’s Nanny of the Year™? Officially, it takes at least five years of professional nanny experience; an education in the field of child care; a nomination from a nanny recruiting agency or employer; and several references. Unofficially, it takes a lot of love and patience.

Christy is the founder/moderator of the Denver Area Nanny Association. She has been a member of INA since 2001, and is also a member of NANC (National Association of Nanny Credentialing) and Nanny Support Group Leaders. She was inspired to start the Denver Area Nanny Association in 2003 after attending her first INA conference. Now with 28 local members, the group arranges play dates, nanny dinners and coffee gatherings, and organizes and participates in CPR/First Aid training for nannies.

2009 Update: Since receiving the NOTY™ award, Christy has enjoyed working with the same family that nominated her. She has now been with that family for 6 years and her charges are now ages 6, 4 and 2. In January of 2008, the family moved into a new house and Christy was able to reduce her hours to 30 per week so that she could help out with her new grandbaby.

Christy continues to play an active role in her local nanny support group, Denver Area Nanny Association. Last spring she asked one of the other nannies in the group to take over leadership. "The new moderator is doing a super job and we have such a wonderful group of Nannies here in Colorado!" said Christy.

Are YOU the 2010 INA Nanny of the Year? Deadline for applications is March 10. Don't forget that NOTY Mentors are available to any nominee or those considering nomination.