Discipline From The Inside Out

The following is from a series of articles by Ronald Mah. Mr. Mah will be a featured speaker at the 2010 INA Conference in San Francisco.

Billy?... (looks out and spots Billy in the back of the room) -- present.

Susie?... (there she is… little wallflower) -- present.

Glenn?... (uh... cute as usual) -- present.

Kathleen?... (there she is... for now!) -- present.

Mark?... (where it is he? In the back? No, that's Brian. Hmmm? Is he here today? Hmmm? No, not over there... no, not over there...)

Mark? Has anyone seemed Mark today? Hmmm? I guess... I guess he's not here today. Not present. (Mark's not here! Mark is not here! Mark is not here! MARK IS NOT HERE !!! YES!

No Mark tantrums! No Mark fights! No Mark arguments! IT'S TIME FOR A CELEBRATION! IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY TODAY! No Mark interruptions to distract the other kids. No Mark whining to take me from the others. Going be able to get work done today. It’s going to be a GREAT day! MARK IS NOT HERE TODAY!!

Not your darling! No… It can’t be your darling whose absence causes celebration among his/her teacher. Well, sometimes it is your darling! Or, maybe your darling is the invisible child who never causes any trouble but is also virtually unknown to the teacher and the other children because he/she is so quiet. Or, is yours the fidgety one? The “yes…but” kid. You know the one who, “yes is bright, but is so active!” Or, “yes is very sweet, but can’t keep his/her hands or feet still.” Or, yes, is well liked, but always has to be first. How do your darlings become the children of kindergarten, elementary school, middle and high school? How do they become the good, great, and… uh… other kids? How do they become the good, great, and other academic and social successes or failures of school and other future communities? Harsh as it may sound, when I tell the little vignette above to teachers from preschool age to elementary to high school, I get uproarious laughter, knowing nods, and teachers pointing fingers at each other. There are children that become so frustrating to teachers that they virtually celebrate when such children DO NOT come to class. Does this happen due to the dynamics of the classroom, the playground, or the home, the family, and the neighborhood, or the media? The anger is the classic therapist answer… it depends! There are many aspects and circumstances that contribute to a child’s success or failure. The home, the family, the neighborhood, the class, the playground, and even the media are the communities every child grows up and develops in.

Read the complete article by Rondld Mah

Ronald Mah is the author of several articles and books and DVD's.